So hubby is FINALLY on his paternity leave and has 4 weeks (or maybe 8…. depending on where God decides he wants us…) and I really didn’t want to waste his time off by rotting on the couch. So I found a nearby yoga studio that offers 30 days of unlimited classes for $49 (thanks, yelp!) I really wanted to challenge myself and get out of my comfort zone, plus I’ve been curious to see if yoga would actually help my anxiety. Today I took a level 1 flow class. I’m not really sure how to sum it up, so. This is how it went:
All these people are way older then me. I bet they are all wise yoga masters and I’m going to look like a frikin dork next to them.
Oh wait. This is a level 1 class. They can’t be that great.
Hey. Those people are my age. Of course other people my age don’t show up 15 mins early. Stupid chronic earliness. I’m an old lady with a 23 year old body.
We’re going in! Oh crap. Where should i put my mat… If i sit in the back i can’t see. if i sit in the front everyone’s going to watch me fall…
Oh no! All the spots are almost gone! Just sit somewhere before you get stuck at the front!
This is actually a pretty good spot… Why is everybody grabbing stuff? WHY DO YOU NEED 3 BLANKETS FOR A YOGA CLASS? WHAT IS GOING ON? BLOCKS, TOO?
Maybe I should go grab something, just so I look like I know what I’m doing. *grabs 2 blocks*
So we just sit here and…..?
Teacher: Everybody start on your back. Relax. You’re going to need blocks today….
*few people get up to get blocks*
3 minutes into class:
Wait. The teacher doesn’t stay in the front? Pleeasssee don’t step on my fingers….
10 minutes into class:
What is this pose? We all look like we are taking a major dump.
HOW LONG DO WE HAVE TO THIS? I’M GOING TO FALL ON MY ASS.
20 minutes into class:
That chick totally just farted! Bwahaha.
Wait. What if I fart? ohmygod. oh. my. god. I think I would die. I would literally die. Just shoot me now. oh wait what am I supposed to be doing?
30 minutes into class:
This mat is sticky. How is sticking my forehead on a sticky mat exercise?
My boobs are too big for this.
35 minutes into class:
I should have taken my glasses off.
I wonder what time it is…
Don’t look at your watch! That is not zen!
37 minutes into class:
Ho, don’t you look at your watch!
45 minutes into class:
teacher: if your knee is past your ankle, you are more flexible then you thought! back your left leg up a bit *corrects my leg*
I AM A YOGA MASTER. LOOK AT THIS WARRIOR POSE! LOOK AT IT! I was made for yoga! I have found my calling! I should do this all the time! Maybe even twice a day! I will become a yoga legend and everyone will be in awe of my-ohshit. we’re switching positions again.
50 minutes into class:
I hate this.
60 minutes into class:
This is it! This is the part we get to lie down and take a cat nap! I can live with this. This is so awesome. Worth it. Worth every- Please stop ringing that chime.
yeah. don’t do that.
I told the teacher that it was my first class and he said (and i quote) “Really? You rocked it!” and that was nice :D i felt pretty chill and relaxed, at least until i came home and spent some time with my crazy toddler. My legs are a little sore but i’m looking foreword to class tomorrow. I can for sure do 30 days of this….
Sidenote: I told my mom that the teacher said i rocked it and she said “oh course he did! he wants you to come back and give him more money!”